ASTI Mukbanging Sensation Speaks on TikTok Ban

Big Daddy Eats, illegally known as Nicole Tam, is an ASTI junior and the school’s most notorious mukbanger, known for her innovative eating style and her unique personality. Though she comes from humble beginnings as a regular old ASTI student, Nicole has quickly garnered an estimated 2.7 million TikTok followers*, whom she refers to as the “Fatty Patties”. Her fatty patty fandom has witnessed her collaborations with notable ASTI figures such as iconic award-winning filmmaking duo Max Gurevich and Kalim McCoy, as well as personal figures like her dad. As her fame grows, though, so too do the obstacles in Ms. Eats’ way. In response to her skyrocketing popularity, similar ASTI food channels, such as Walbeenton Eats and Dyldikkya Ningpelki Eats, have emerged on the ASTI eating scene, thirsting for a piece of Nicole’s fatty patty fame. Recently, Ms. Eats was faced with her toughest obstacle yet: the U.S. government’s ban on Tik Tok. The U.S. had been threatening to ban TikTok for years in fear of security concerns related to the Chinese Government’s access to American user data. As rumors swirled and suspense grew, Ms. Eats began to fear that the ban would leave her in the same place she’d been before the fame: unemployed, unfed, and irrelevant. “I was disappointed in our elected officials,” said Ms. Eats on her thoughts before the ban. “Frankly, I began to question democracy entirely. Those big-wigs up in the capital will never understand how much my fatty patties NEED me, and vice versa.” When interviewed before the events of recent days, some of ASTI’s most loyal Fatty Patties expressed similar dismay. “Her account means the world to me,” said long-time Fatty Patty Max Gurevich. “When I feel sad or angry, I calm myself down with the knowledge that Big Daddy is out there somewhere, eating good. Without her, I am no longer a fatty patty. I would be a SLIM patty, and if you saw me, you would understand that is NOT fitting.” On Sunday, January 19th, TikTok announced that it would be shutting down at midnight. But, allegedly thanks to soon-to-be president Donald Trump, the ban was lifted the next day, and ASTI Phoenix sources say that Trump and TikTok are getting closer everyday to a deal to make TikTok American property. Though the future of Big Daddy Eats looms uncertain, Ms. Eats remains loyal to her original mukbanging philosophy, and has continued posting, undeterred by the haters such as supreme court justice Clarence Thomas and house speaker Mike Johnson. “They are all skinny patties,” Ms. Eats told us, looking towards the future, “I started this channel because I love to eat. And no matter how hard they try, Dr. Anthony Fauci and his henchmen can NEVER take that passion away from me. I call upon my Fatty Patty army to MIGRATE by my side to Instagram, where I will continue to work towards building a better future for all my loyal fans.” *estimates and calculations performed by Nejra Hojic